ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
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Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a recipe you'll never cook, and one is playing music from somewhere you can't find.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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