ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment.
The candles are outnumbering the years you've got left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast. Combined monthly income:…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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