Transcript: The Thermostat Negotiations, Round 312 (No Survivors)
Official minutes from the longest-running peace talks in any household: what temperature the house should be. No agreement. The energy company won.
MAKE THIS WORSE →THE MAGAZINE · ISSUE 44 · NOVEMBER 2026
THE MAGAZINE
Long-form disappointment about life, work, money, love and technology.
The Small Humiliations of Parenthood, Ranked by Damage
Corrected by a four-year-old. Out-negotiated by a toddler. Singing about a bus in public. The daily humiliations of parenthood, ranked without mercy.
MAKE THIS WORSE →“We Should Hang Out Sometime”: A Field Guide to the Plan That Will Never Happen
"We should hang out sometime" is not a plan. It is a friendship being buried without a ceremony. A field guide to the phrase, and to…
MAKE THIS WORSE →Quiz: Have You Become Your Parents? (You Have. Score Yourself Anyway.)
Do you say "who's that?" when the doorbell rings? Own a favourite knife? Take the quiz. The result was decided years ago, without you.
MAKE THIS WORSE →The Five Stages of “So, What Are We?” (Spoiler: Less Than You Hoped)
From "we're just seeing where it goes" to calling them your partner at a barbecue and hearing nothing back. The five stages of defining the relationship.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Why Monday Keeps Happening (And Will Until You Don’t)
It turns up every seven days, uninvited, smelling of alarm clocks. You have roughly 2,000 left. We answered the questions. You won't like them.
MAKE THIS WORSE →My Left Knee Is Now More Accurate Than the Weather Forecast, and More Bitter
Forget the weather app. My left knee predicted rain three days early. Here's this week's forecast, delivered by a joint that has given up on me.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Transcript: Can We Make the Logo Bigger? (Five Days of Client Feedback)
Monday: 'Make the logo bigger.' Friday: 'Why is the logo so big?' A week of client feedback, transcribed in full as evidence.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Wedding Season: An Itemised Audit of Love and Debt
Four weddings, one stag do, one suit worn to all of them. An itemised audit of wedding season, from a guest who is delighted and permanently…
MAKE THIS WORSE →Your Five-Year Plan Is Fiction (And Assumes You Have Five Years)
In 2019 I wrote a five-year plan. I achieved none of it, except accidentally learning to make bread. An essay on planning for a future that…
MAKE THIS WORSE →The Restructure Memo, Annotated by Someone Who Knows Exactly What ‘Impacted’ Means
'Exciting changes to our structure.' The restructure memo, line by line, translated by a veteran of four reorgs and zero promotions.
MAKE THIS WORSE →LinkedIn Post Translator: What the Humblebrag Actually Means
'I'm humbled to announce...' Nobody has ever been humbled on LinkedIn. Seven classic humblebrags, translated into the bleak plain truth.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Newsletter / Issue No. 444
THE WEEKLY DISAPPOINTMENT
One email a week. Advice you didn't ask for, statistics about your decline, and observations that will quietly ruin your Sunday.
No spam. Just disappointment. Unsubscribe whenever you regain hope.