The Corporate Dictionary Nobody Asked For: Office Jargon, Brutally Translated
"Circle back." "Quick sync." "Bandwidth." Office jargon translated into what they actually mean, which is usually that you're replaceable.
MAKE THIS WORSE →THE MAGAZINE · ISSUE 44 · NOVEMBER 2026
THE MAGAZINE
Long-form disappointment about life, work, money, love and technology.
The In-Laws Are Visiting: A Household Operating Manual (No Refunds)
Hide the dirty mugs. Find the good towels. Accept that you have already failed. A step-by-step manual for surviving an in-law visit, barely.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Incident Report: A Teenager Played Me a Song and I Felt My Era End
A teenager asked if I'd heard the new song by someone I'd never heard of. I lied. Official incident report from the musically deceased.
MAKE THIS WORSE →17 Signs Your Job Is Slowly Destroying You (It’s Not Even Rushing)
You dream in spreadsheets. You say 'per my last email' to your partner. Your houseplant knows your Teams status. The erosion is on schedule.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Sleep: A Customer Review, Two Stars, Would Switch Provider If One Existed
Loyal customer of sleep for decades. The service has collapsed and support is a podcast about fishing nets. My honest, verified-purchase review.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Transcript: ‘It’s Like Uber, But For…’ (A Startup Pitch Nobody Asked For)
'It's like Uber, but for lawnmowers, but also a social network, with crypto.' A real pitch that has ruined coffee in every café on earth.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Expedition Notes From the Legacy Codebase: Nobody Comes Back the Same
Day 1: Found a function called doStuff2_FINAL_real. Day 4: It controls payroll. Field notes from deep inside a legacy codebase.
MAKE THIS WORSE →The Complete Guide to Pretending You Understand Crypto (Before It Takes Your Savings)
Someone at the party said "decentralised". You panicked. Here is how to fake understanding crypto right up until your savings vanish.
MAKE THIS WORSE →The Startup Pitch Deck, Slide by Slide: Every Lie in Order
Problem. Solution. Hockey-stick graph. Founder in a black T-shirt. A guided tour of every startup pitch deck ever made, and where the money goes.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Team-Building Day: A Diary of Forced Bonding in a Field
Raft-building. Trust falls. A man called Gavin in a branded fleece. A minute-by-minute diary of the day we were forced to become a team before the…
MAKE THIS WORSE →How to Know You Are Becoming Your Parents (It’s Already Too Late)
You turned off a light and said "we're not made of money." To nobody. The signs you are becoming your parents, irreversibly, on schedule.
MAKE THIS WORSE →How to Survive a Family WhatsApp Group (It Will Survive You)
Glitter roses at 6:12am. Forwarded health myths. Mum signing off with her own name. The family group chat is forever. Literally.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Newsletter / Issue No. 444
THE WEEKLY DISAPPOINTMENT
One email a week. Advice you didn't ask for, statistics about your decline, and observations that will quietly ruin your Sunday.
No spam. Just disappointment. Unsubscribe whenever you regain hope.