ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 11 MARCH 1956
You manifested your dream job.
The universe received the request, checked your CV and moved you to spam.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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