ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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