ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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