ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 28 JUNE 1958
You got the ick because they ran for a bus.
You've been single three years and you run for nothing. Including opportunities.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- You are a brief arrangement of atoms that learned to worry about emails.
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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