ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Treat yourself, they said.
You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every one.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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