ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
When life gives you lemons,
it sends the invoice later. With interest.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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