ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake.
The standing still was flawless. The getting up took a team, a run-up and a noise you'd never made before.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- The game asks if you want to continue. Nobody ever asks if you want…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Your job title will outlive you. It's already been posted on LinkedIn, with a…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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