ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You pre-ordered it for the cape.
The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- The game asks if you want to continue. Nobody ever asks if you want…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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