ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 19 MAY 1961
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Your inbox reached zero once. The server was down. You were briefly free and…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- Wealth is built slowly. Debt is built quickly. And it's hereditary.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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