ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The best time to start saving was twenty years ago.
The second-best time was also twenty years ago. You missed both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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