ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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