ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- When you're gone, the one who misses you most will be the algorithm. It…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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