ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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