ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday".
Except a manager, and he meant your Monday, not his.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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