ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The loot box has a 0.5% chance of something good.
The studio has a 100% chance of your money.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- Clear-coding means stating your intentions up front. Hers was "I have a hard stop…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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