ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You pre-ordered it for the cape.
The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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