ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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