ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought.
It renews automatically. So does the guilt.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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