ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 11 MAY 1967
Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment.
The candles are outnumbering the years you've got left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- You put "entrepreneur" in your bio. You've sold one pair of trainers on Vinted…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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