ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Start the week strong.
Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a buffering icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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