ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Remember when you stayed up late on purpose?
Now you're up at 3am because your knee filed a complaint.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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