ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You pre-ordered it for the cape.
The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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