ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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