ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Consistency is key.
You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only consistent thing about you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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