ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You rage quit because the game was rigged. You were also just bad. Both…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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