ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You pre-ordered it for the cape.
The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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