ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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