ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback.
It cost three new cards and a Sunday. You get roughly 4,000 Sundays. That was one.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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