ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
A good night out now means home by ten.
Nobody had to come and get you. Nobody offered.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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