ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped to the bar.
You replied in four minutes. That's the part he was counting on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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