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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION SUNDAY, 5 DECEMBER 1971
You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake.
The standing still was flawless. The getting up took a team, a run-up and a noise you'd never made before.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
  2. Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
  3. Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
  4. Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
  5. The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
  6. The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
  7. “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 446

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