ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The return to office is completely optional.
So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet there you are, ranked 41st. They're "reviewing" 41st.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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