ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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