ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle.
The kettle will outlast the excitement. Possibly you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- The pothole is on the list. The list is dynamic. The pothole is permanent.
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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