ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.
The printer has better job security.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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