ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being single means nobody steals your duvet.
It also means the duvet is the only witness to your life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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