ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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