ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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