ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 4 SEPTEMBER 1975
Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something.
You do that at work for free.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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