ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up.
Eleven kilometres later you'd caught three pigeons, a cold and a physio waiting list that will outlive the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- A full review is ongoing. Ongoing is a very comfortable place for a review…
- Clear-coding means stating your intentions up front. Hers was "I have a hard stop…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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