ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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