ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The consultation runs for twelve weeks.
The decision was made in week zero.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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