ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- They're on a comeback tour. It's the fourth. They have never been anywhere long…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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