ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every birthday is a gift.
The gift is one fewer birthday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- They're on a comeback tour. It's the fourth. They have never been anywhere long…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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