ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees are getting different memos now, mostly from a specialist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- Monday is a core collaboration day. As, it turns out, is every day ending…
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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