ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Age is just a number.
So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than your salary.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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